Embodying Resilience – What’s Love Got to Do With It?
- Feb 2
- 8 min read
Tom Hook, 02/01/2026
Reflection before Talk
To embody resilience as easily as we breathe… *
Rev. Dr. Rebekah Savage
Permission Secured by Soul Matters
Spirit of Life, Spirit of Love,
Eternal Mystery beyond and within,
Receive the meditations of our hearts this day:
We acknowledge that so much of this experience of being human
Dances in complexity, challenge and heartbreak.
We acknowledge that there is so much that we carry each day:
The ways others have let us down,
Made us feel overlooked, unappreciated, not fully welcomed as who and how we are.
We name for ourselves that to be human, finite beings in an infinite universe,
Is to exist in a world that can be cruel - all too cruel - and that sometimes…
We sip from bitter cups of cruelty and pass it on to others.
Sometimes, we fall short of remembering that we live in a sacred interdependence,
And that our strength, our wisdom, our kindness, compassion and grace -
Are all blessings in the service of the Greatest Good.
With humility, may we reflect on our shortcomings,
and with gentle hearts seek that deeper path of living,
Through forgiveness and generosity of heart.
Spirit of Life, Transcendent Holy Essence around and within us all,
Help us this day to fully embrace that we are a people of faith -
And that we believe that another world is possible, …and is already here:
Within us, if only we choose to return to that hopeful possibility again and again.
To be resilient is to proclaim that our Love and Legacies of Love shall endure and make changes in our lives, our families, community and our world.
May we embody resilience each time we persevere
May we embody resilience as easily as we breathe.
May our resilience create ripples of possibility for those who seek us,
As beacons for sanctuary and liberation.
Amen and may it be so.
Resistance vs. Resilience
As I begin today, I believe it is important to outline the differences and importance of each of these concepts
Introduction
Both “resistance” and “resilience” are critical concepts in our daily lives. While they are sometimes used interchangeably, they represent distinct approaches to dealing with stress, adversity, or change.
What Is Resistance?
Resistance refers to the ability of an individual or group to withstand or oppose external pressures or changes that we deem to be socially unacceptable or unjust…..even Evil. A person resisting negative influences or temptations strives to avoid being influenced by them.
Resistance is often characterized by rigor, solidarity, and a focus on defense.
What Is Resilience?
Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, adapt to change, or bounce back after a setback. Rather than simply resisting change, resilience involves absorbing the impact, learning from the experience, and emerging stronger…. or at least restored. A resilient person can cope with stress, adapt to new situations, and recover for another day.
Resilience is characterized by flexibility, adaptability, and, hopefully, growth. (6 m.
Key Differences
Aspect | Resistance | Resilience |
Definition | Withstanding or opposing change | Bouncing back and adapting after change |
Approach | Rigid, defensive | Flexible, adaptive |
Outcome | Maintains original state if successful | Recovers or evolves after adversity |
Examples | Refusing to change, blocking outside forces | Learning, adapting, growing after stress |
Why Both Matter
Both resistance and resilience are important, but they serve different purposes. Resistance can be useful for preventing unwanted changes or protecting what is valuable. However, when change is inevitable or overwhelming, resilience becomes essential for recovery and adaptation. Order – Disorder - Reorder
From Soul Matters for February:
When did we decide that resilience was a solo project?
It's not that we consciously chose to define it that way. It's just what we were taught, from the time we were little, right up to today: "Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps"; "You're stronger than you think."; "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.”; “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
The cultural consensus is clear: resilience depends on our personal toughness and inner strength. It’s a solo act!
But other voices are on the rise. Take author and activist, Soraya Chemaly, (Soraya Lisa Catherine Chemaly (born 1966 in Florida) is a Bahamian-American author, activist and feminist. Her best-known book, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger (2018), has been translated into multiple languages.) who writes,
“In spectacular arrogance, our mainstream vision of resilience encourages us to ignore, minimize, and even punish the desire for our greatest resilience assets: interdependence, collective versatility, and shared care.
Instead of revealing our relationships to one another, our environments, and the systems we live in, this vision highlights and glorifies self-sufficiency, limitless positivity, and individual strength against all odds. It makes us less resilient, not more.” (end quote)
In a world facing numerous threats of collapse and conflict, Chemaly’s words help us see that correctly defining resilience is not just an intellectual exercise, but a matter of life and death.
We all sense it: the road ahead for us human beings is going to get rough. It already has. So, we simply can’t afford to overlook a single source of resilience.
Which is another way of saying the world needs us to start speaking up too! If those rough roads ahead are to be successfully navigated, we need people who challenge those old-school chants of “You can do it!” with a new mantra of ”We can’t do it on our own!”
That doesn’t mean we have to abandon old messages about personal resilience, but it does mean that we need to get better at noticing when they get in our way.
It’s fine to celebrate the classic resilient image of a tree flexibly leaning and bending with the wind, but we can’t let that distract us from the fact that, today, the kind of leaning that matters most is leaning on each other.
It’s all one big reminder that while resilience has a lot to do with what is inside us, it is even more dependent on what is between us. We survive our wounds and weaknesses by having the strength to tell others about it.
We find the courage to make our way through the dark only when we sense we are not alone. Internal and individual grit only gets us so far; empathy, assurance and love from others gets us the rest of the way.
So, friends, this month, let’s look around, as much as look within. Let’s let up on all the “grin and bear it” talk and instead grab the hand that is reaching our way.
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
(as it relates to Resilience)
To Have Ubuntu
The late Desmond Tutu, in his work, “No Future Without Forgiveness” writes,
“We find that we are placed in a delicate network of vital relationship with the Divine, with my fellow human beings and with the rest of creation.”
“Ubuntu [a southern African expression] speaks of the very essence of being human. [We] say [...] “Hey, so-and-so has ubuntu.” Then you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say, “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours.” We belong in a bundle of life. We say, “A person is a person through other persons.” (end quote)
As we renew our spirit, we also renew our capacity to love. As we move from our head space to our “heart” space, the heart has the potential to create a person who can both receive and give away love – a love that is perfectly free.
It seems that we all fear and avoid this intimacy to some degree. We avoid disclosing our deepest self for fear that the “other” may not accept us in this vulnerable state. The challenge for each of us is to have the confidence and courage to give this love away to another. To have and embrace an encounter with otherness. That is to say – “To Have Ubuntu”
It is the face of “the other” in relationship, that transforms us, renews us, and gives us our deepest identity.
The divisive fragmentation of our age reflects a need for a new holistic synergy of science and spirituality to heal our divisions, deepen our compassion, and ignite the human spirit toward greater unity and flourishing.
The Teilhardian concept of “Omega” is understood not as destination, but as deepening toward a more unified future. Omega is the revelation of God as the fullness of love, the dynamic center at the heart of all Creation.
In light of our recent struggles and chaos, is this “pie in the sky” thinking that is prompting me to propose Love an antidote? I think not. I am not ready to give up on humanity in spite of our situation.
To quote Julian of Norwich, “It’s only love that never ends.”
Julian (1342-1416) lived in the English city of Norwich, an important center for commerce that also had a vibrant religious life. An English anchoress and mystic, she spent much of her life in seclusion. Julian lived in a sealed room attached to St. Julian’s Church in the city of Norwich, where she sought to devote herself entirely to prayer and union with God. During her lifetime, the city suffered the devastating effects of the Black Death of 1348–1350 and again in 1361-1362. At age 30 she was so seriously ill she thought she was on her deathbed. Julian received a series of visions or showings of the Passion of Christ. She recovered from her illness and wrote two versions of her experiences, the earlier one being completed soon after her recovery. Revelations of Divine Love — a much longer version, today known as the Long Text, was written many years later.
She lays out her case for the goodness and grace of nature during a time of pandemic, when so many were turning their backs on ever trusting nature again.
One of her most famous quotes is:
And all will be well, and all will be well.
And all manner of things will be well.
Take that in.
This assertion is meant to penetrate the fog of our despair and wake us up. She doesn’t simply state, “Everything’s going to be okay.” She does not ask us to spiritually bypass and thus believe that everything is “God’s will.” She is convinced that the nature of the Divine is loving-kindness. (2 min)
Let’s watch and listen to this YouTube video, by UU minister, Meg Barnhouse….
Do we not know about tenderness, about friends, about love, about resilience?
To me, this is the essence of Resilience. To fight the good fight – yes. To resist Evil? – Absolutely. But when confronted with defeats and setbacks, where do we turn? To our community of Beloveds. To be held. To be encouraged. To be loved.
I don’t know when “All Will Be Well”. But, I believe with all my heart and soul that one day, as Teilhard de Chardin believed,
“The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire.”
Psalm 23 for This Moment
By Kevin Tarsa (here we define Love as “wishing the good of the other” – as a collective Resilience – together as one – in Love)
May I remember
in this tender moment
that Love is my guide,
always,
shepherding me toward ways of openness and compassion.
I have what I need, really,
with Love at my side,
above me, below me, in front of me, behind me,
inside every cell of me,
Love infused everywhere!
Just when the weight of the world I inhabit
threatens to drop me in place
and press my hope down into the ground beneath me
Love invites me to rest for a gentle while,
and leads the center of my soul to the quiet, still,
restoring waters nearby that,
somehow,
I had not noticed.
And so, Love,
quietly,
sets me once again on its tender and demanding path.
Even when the walls close around me
and the cries of death echo through untold corners,
gripping my heart with fear and sadness,
I know...
I know
that all will be well,
that I will be well,
when Love whispers
near to me,
glints at the corner of my eye,
rests with gentle and persistent invitation upon my shoulders.
Yes, Love blesses me,
Even as the sources and symbols of my pain look on.
Love blesses me from its infinite well,
And I turn
and notice...
that goodness and kindness and grace,
follow me everywhere,
everywhere I go.
I live in a house of Love,
Love that will not let me go.
I live in a house of love,
And always will.
Namaste
Tom Hook 02/01/2026
