The Heavenly Do'Nuts Take-Out Model - Giving, Service and Stewardship

Presented by: Linda Dove June 8, 2014

Good morning. Thank you to Steve for facilitating our service today.

Our offertory says to me, .

It evokes for me our 7th. UU principle,

This morning I invite you to ponder with me on giving, service and stewardship. A complex topic; so just one or two aspects.

I’m going to use the three terms interchangeably, though of course, they have different connotations. (Another time I’d like to explore the other side, the receiving side. But no time today.)

Service originally meant, of course, being a slave or servant.Today, it means offering others something of value.

Stewardship means taking care of something of value: like money, property, nature, family, community, a business, or an institution, be it secular, religious, or governmental.

We admire those who are generous for “giving back . We judge those who are not generous as miserly, like Midas and Scrooge.

Recently, a article fanfared how a customer in line at a Heavenly Do’Nuts Take-Out paid for the next driver and his action inspired the whole line of drivers behind to do the same. You may have read about this. The headline was .

Let me start us off with a piece on Giving from Kahlil Gibran’s, It’s in your handout in the Order of Service. Let ’s go through it as a responsive reading. Kira will lead us.

A rich man asked the Prophet to speak about giving. He answered

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

¢

You’ll notice that in the poem Khalil offers both down-to-earth and spiritual guidance. And this balance is echoed in a field research study by Martha Sinetar, (1986, Paulist Press) that identifies two kinds of giver.

The study looks at the broad notion of service, not the narrower one of giving money or stuff.

It identifies two kinds of Americans who focus their lives on service or stewardship of one sort or another.

The study looks at regular Americans, not the famous star or the big philanthropist.

Some in the study live ordinary lives except that they carve out lots of time for service. Others give up an ordinary life and focus exclusively on service or stewardship. A few are reclusive.

All know that their lives are destined to be, meant to be, in service.

The study divides the people into two groups according to what motivatestheir urge to serve. It labels them Monks or Mystics.

The urge to serve for Monks comes from a persistent inner call to find and express their full potential as human beings. Like what psychologists call self-actualizing. Monks choose to take off the masks most of us humans wear to cope with everyday life. They feel uncomfortable and inauthentic as the, employee, or the, , spouse.

A carpenter interviewed, for example, has a sole focus in fashioning furniture for customers, and the product has to be as near perfect as he can make it. He’s in touch with his higher self when he puts his whole essence into the work.

A nurse feels like a fake, an unhealed healer. She finds fulfilment when she begins to focus on perfecting her nursing care of each patient, rather than pleasing her bosses.

Thus, Monks give to others, but their focus is on expressing their highest selves in their work or service.

Michelangelo expresses this in his poem about his creative passion as a sculptor and artist. Ray will read this for us.

Mystics also have an overwhelming urge to serve. But their motivation is a deep religious or spiritual yearning to be united in love, with God, the Divine, the Absolute.

Both groups struggle to create the inner and outer conditions that allow them to give so much of themselves. The big changes they make in their lives sometimes upset family, friends and co-workers and cause rifts. And the journey is life-long.

The languages Monks and Mystics use identify both their journey and their destination: (Elizabeth will read this. You’ll find it in your OOS).

¢ A Mystic purifies himself while a Monk avoids distractions.

¢ A Mystic sacrifices while a Monk simplifies.

¢ A Mystic finds her way through prayer while a Monk does inner work.

¢ A Mystic follows divine will while a Monk uses will-power.

¢ The ultimate for a Mystic is to serve others as an expression of divine love; the ultimate for a Monk is to express the full potential in herself through serving others.

¢ Monks aim to be of service. Mystics aim to be service.

You may be thinking of people you know who share the qualities of Monks and Mystics. And the study points out that many people have a bit of both.

St. Teresa of Avila, the Spanish nun, born in 1515, was a Mystic–a funny and politically-savvy feminist as well. She enjoyed a life of privilege and pleasure. But after she experienced many visions–peak experiences–she felt impelled into a life of total service. As a steward of the Carmelites, she reformed the order, founded 17 convents and battled against Church corruption ”very dangerous during the inquisition.

In her book, , Teresa uses a metaphor to describe her spiritual journey. She travels through a castle’s 7 nested, circular dwellings, from the outermost to the innermost. On the way in, devils and dragons tempt her.

When she finally enters the innermost dwelling, she meets God, whom she calls her Beloved. (Shades of Rumi?) From then on, she says, . It is this Lovethat impels her to serve others. And, in her empathy, she sees all other people as herself, having God within.

Parker Palmer, the Quaker author and teacher, would probably qualify as a Monk with a mystical bent. God guides his life, as he writes in his book, In this, he describes his many years working on himself and then developing Circles of Trust for churches, corporations, and individuals. These are forums for people who want to strip away their insecurities and reveal to themselves and others what Palmer calls, their shy souls. They wanttolive lives of authenticity and meaning.

Susan Trout is an interfaith Mystic grounded in practical service. She co-founded in Alexandria, VA. She was a mentor to me for a number of years.

In her book, , she says:

She offers many tenets about service. I’ve chosen four for their spiritual depth and practical relevance in the world. They’re listed in your handout. Jackie will read them for us.

Lots to ponder there.

The big vision-thing to remember is that, for Monks, the goal is to transcend social pressures and give to others from their true selves.

For Mystics, the goal is to transcend their humanness so that they serve as an expression of divine love.

The term, and of course, is just one way of teasing out some of the qualities of a life of service.

Preparing this talk has helped me ponder my own giving, service, stewardship in this lifetime.

I think I have little bits of a Monk and a Mystic in me. I love the ideal of devoting my life to “being service; as, Kahlil says, “to give as ¦the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space. But I am certainly nowhere near attaining that, or even making a total commitment to work towards it.

And I confess I’m unclear how I can give without any attachment to outcome. I do get it that, in giving, I don’t control what happens. I try to remember this when I give a dollar to a panhandler. I hope he or she won’t spend the money on alcohol or drugs, but she may. I try to remember it’s the act of giving with the intent to treat another human being as a soul like myselfthat’s important.

I’m clear about the nobility of serving without expecting any tangiblereward. I give to charities of my choice. But I do wonder how generous I would remain if there were no charitable tax-deductions or if I were unlucky enough not to qualify for them.

For me, the psychological reward is important. And I’m not just talking about the everyday pleasant feedback from doing good. Perhaps the most significant service for me was when my late husband, Ray, was ill. He was very unwell for 17 years but in his last 6-7 years I was his sole support 24/7. I was there for him because I loved him and I couldn't imagine walking away. But there were times when I wondered when all this would ever end. I told myself that I needed to do everything I could without resentment and with loving intent. And I remember the very moment when I decided that my reward would be in having no regrets, knowing that, at the last, I’d done everything I could.

These days, I do my bit, as most of us do. I’ve learned to take time to care for myself so as not to get burned out. I’ve learned to be more humble, discerning and selective about where I expend my energy. I remind myself to make the difficult decisions in my stewardship duties by keeping in mind the greater good, the “we, not the “me alone. And, of course, I’m open to friends when they need a helping hand.

Finally, the great, wise ones through the ages ”from Krishna to Desmond Tutu to the Dalai Lama, inspire me. Their message is about love. They show in their lives that it’s the open-hearted, loving intentin acts of giving that diffuse a generous energy around our world. Love can breathe the scent of myrtle into all hearts.

Do remind me all the times when I fail to live up to all of this, won’t you!

And, of course, I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of what it means to give, to serve, to be a steward.

I hope that these are topics we Unitarians and we Universalists, secular and religious together, will continue to go deeper and deeper into.

Finally, we’ll probably never know what motivated that guy at the to pay for a stranger’s do’nuts. Was it a call from a higher power? An urge to “give-back ? An inner urge to develop his humanity? Or, perhaps, because the take-out booth had no change for a $50 bill.

Community Reflection and Dialogue

¢ What stuck out for you as in these takes on the nature of service?

¢ Does your matter when you serve others?

¢ Is the more important than the with which the steward acts?

¢ Do you agree with Susan Trout that it is important to give with ?

Linda A. Dove

June 8, 2014.